Lover Forbidden -- Scene 9

The Black Dagger Brotherhood world and characters

are the property of JR Ward.

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Scene 9

Rehvenge sat on the edge of his bed in his spacious room at the great camp.  His limbs were all in working order and the stiffness and kinks that come from sleeping for most of five days were down to the occasional twinge.  For the first time in all those days his head was clear.  He’d had a shower, shaved, and, while not exuberant, felt at the very least … better.

While he’d been low, that angel, Lassiter, had come to see him.  Asking questions about the Brotherhood, where they could be found.  Rehv had hooked him up after the angel had healed him of some pretty serious infection.  Humiliating to be seen like that, but also concerning that his Dopamine use was making him sick.  Like he needed something else to worry about.

He scrubbed his face with his hands and slipped his platinum watch onto his wrist.  He shivered a bit in the air, the shower he’d just taken having been as hot as his skin could take and then some.  The contrast was chilling, even though he was fully clothed. 

He felt him before he saw him.  Wondered if he were back in dreamland.  When the hell did Phury get here?

But there he was, standing in the shadows in the corner of the room.  In fact, one living breathing shadow as Trez materialized next to the warrior.

“What the fuck, Trez?” Rehv blasted, alarmed, appalled and completely fucking freaked out that his warrior might have seen him at his weakest.

The shadow shrugged but didn’t say anything in his own defense.  So, it was like that was it?

“I came back to see you and you weren’t at Zero Sum.” Phury explained.  “I made Xhex call Trez.”

“And you took it upon yourself to spill?” Rehv was still looking at Trez who stood, arms folded in fuck-you position across his chest.  Completely unrepentant. 

“Could you leave us alone, Trez?” Phury asked politely.

“I don’t know, can I?”  The shadow responded.

“He saved my life, the last thing I want to do is hurt him.” The warrior promised.

Trez looked over at Rehv and grinned, “angels, Brothers, ain’t you fancy?”

Rehv smiled wanly and nodded to let Trez know it was okay to leave him with Phury.  When the door closed behind his friend, he steeled himself, balling his fists into tight knots.  How much did Phury know?

“So …” Phury pushed away from the wall he was leaning against, “now’s the time for you to tell me what’s up.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Long enough to know you were half dead for a few days.  I got here night before last.  This is the first time I’ve seen your eyes open.  I was having first meal with Trez in the kitchen when we heard the shower.”

“What happened on the Other Side?” Rehv asked, drinking in the sight of Phury.  The warrior was absolutely radiating sex appeal.  The Other Side had done him good, it seemed.

“You first.” That beautiful face hardened and Rehv shut down the sex thoughts.  How could he tell Phury what he’d done? 

“I really think it would be better if we eased into that conversation.”  Rehv’s voice was weak, his eyes cast down.  He would tell him.  It would end everything, but he would be honest.  Damn it.

Phury was silent for a long time and Rehv thought they might stay like that forever.  Finally, the warrior made his way over to a chair in a sitting area by the huge fireplace and settled in.  His gaze latched onto the fire, but he didn’t complain.  It was the middle of the summer, and the room was warm, but Rehvenge still shivered with the cold.

“I served Cormia through her needing,” Phury said absently, staring.

“Oh.” Well if that wasn’t a punch in the gut.

“She knows, by the way.  About us.”

“What else does she know?”

“Just … that.  She doesn’t know you’re a sympath.”

“What did she have to say about it?” Rehv asked cautiously.  He wasn’t one for airing his feelings and this conversation had the markers of a soul-baring marathon. 

“She was hurt.  I think she felt … I don’t know.  It doesn’t matter because she’s not allowed to feel any more for me than I would be for her.  It’s all share and share alike as far as the Chosen go.  Even with the primale.  So, she was upset but she had no official right to be.  Which sucks for her.”

“When did she go into her needing?”

“I guess it would have been Monday, maybe early Tuesday.  It lasted twenty hours.  Amalya, the directrix, timed it.”  The last was said dryly.

“Twenty hours?”  Unbelievable.

“Yep.  Twenty hours.” Phury wiped his palms on his pants and Rehvenge sucked in a breath.  He knew that tell.  Phury wanted smoke and and he wanted it bad. 

Rehvenge walked over to the chair opposite Phury and sat.  He leaned forward and took a clammy hand.

“Are you okay?”

Phury laughed harshly at that one.

“That’s what Cormia and I kept asking each other after the ... after.  If this isn’t the biggest dumb mess, I don’t know what is.” He slumped back in the chair, effectively breaking their grip.  Rehv sat back as well and eyed the primale. 

“At least it was her.” Phury’s eyes were back on the fire but his hands continued their slide on his pants.  Rehv worried.  He also felt intense, irrational jealousy and the equally irrational wish that the Chosen Phury had served had been more anonymous to him.  Cormia was too close for Rehvenge’s comfort. 

“When,” Rehv had to clear his throat to get the next words out, “when will you have to do it again?”

“According to the helpful chart in the primale temple, not for another year.  But there are three needings scheduled within the span of about five months starting around November.” His voice had taken a bitter edge.

They were silent for a while, ruminating.  The winds whispered in the trees, and an owl called to its mate.  The silence of the two males at the fire stretched long and eventually awkwardness set in.  How does one speak when there are no words?

“You haven’t told me what happened to you,” there was annoyance in Phury’s voice now.  No more hiding.

“I know,” Rehv admitted, standing and beginning to pace. “It’s damn hard to get started on something like this.”

“Trez and Xhex didn’t tell me anything, but I got the distinct impression they thought I should know.” Phury locked eyes with Rehvenge and didn’t let him go.

“I’m not sure I can.”

“You can.”

Rehvenge heaved a sigh.  This was it.  He’d lay it all on the line except for some details that were Xhex’s to tell or not tell and he’d see what Phury did.  If he walked away from him then it wasn’t meant to be.  Okay.  Great.  Do it. 

And he did.  He told Phury everything.  Right down to the way the Princess always made sure Trez could see them when they came.  And how Rehv was reduced to being carried like a child to the car afterward.  He told him about the rubies and the scorpions and the bombshell that the sick, twisted freak who’d used him for twenty-five long years was his half-sister.

When he finally looked up he found blazing yellow eyes staring at him.  A scowl furrowed Phury’s brow as did a look of utter disbelief.

Well, that’s it then.

“Why is she still breathing?”  Phury’s voice was low. 

“If I kill her, or let Xhex kill her, my uncle, the king -- her husband -- will come after me.  He won’t make any deals.”

“It’s not worth it.  He can be killed as well.”

“Not as easily.  He can freeze you were you stand and feast on your entrails while you’re forced to watch.  And the princess knows other things, too.  She’s arranged it so the king will know everything should she die in a suspicious manner.  They’ll find Xhex.  They’ll come after my mother and maybe even my sister.  She’s a link to the Brotherhood, the potential for disaster is huge if I retaliate.”

“I don’t accept that.  We’ll stop it.  Together.  You don’t have to go through this alone.”

While Rehvenge secretly warmed to the possibility that his lover would help him, the reality of such an act was certain death to his warrior and that was not going to happen.  But he was weak.  He would let it lie for the time being and bask in the companionship he’d longed for. 

Rehvenge returned to his seat and reached out for Phury’s hand.  He was gratified when Phury pulled his own chair closer to Rehv’s and settled palm-to-palm with him. 

“I don’t like this happening to you,” Phury’s voice was tight.

“Neither do Xhex, iAm, and Trez, but it’s the only way,” Rehvenge tightened his hold.

Phury looked over at him and those eyes that shone like sunshine settled on Rehv’s lips.  The warrior licked his own. 

It wasn’t one or the other who took the lead, they closed the distance together.  Firm lips pressed hard against each other but with care and tenderness at the same time.  Both hurting, both doubtful, they poured all their pain and insecurities into that connection and, without effort, it grew.

Rehvenge swept his tongue through Phury’s mouth and the warrior pushed back, tangling and savoring and teasing.  Their kisses were a battle of wills alongside total surrender and they lasted for-freaking-ever. 

“I want you,” Phury whispered when they came up for air.

“Yes,” Rehvenge reached for Phury’s shirt … no that was his shirt.  He’d forgotten Phury’s recent lack of possessions.

And since it was his own property, he felt perfectly empowered to rip it off the warrior, scattering buttons and rending fabric.  Exposing the massive, carved chest that always set him back.

“Ah, you’re … amazing,” Rehvenge looked his fill.

Phury responded by taking his sweet time unbuttoning Rehvenge’s shirt.  Slowly.  Seductively.  Making sure to kiss or lick every inch of skin as it was exposed.  Rehv could hardly breathe.

“Phury,” He choked, “look at me.”

The warrior looked up with those glorious eyes and Rehvenge’s brain blew a fuse.  He was speechless for a moment before he remembered he’d wanted to say something. 

“Um … I’ve never … ah … been with a male before.” Idiot! He sounded like a sweet little virgin.  Very sexy, moron.  Smoooth.

Phury didn’t respond, just watched him.  Kind of like a predator, Rehvenge realized as he gathered what air he could in his lungs.

“I guess it’s the blind leading the blind,” Rehv joked nervously.

Uh oh. The warrior sat back in his chair again, eyeing Rehvenge from under his burnished bronze lashes.   The look he was giving him was so hot Rehv mentally kicked himself for pushing the pause button.

“Not really.” Phury confessed.

Huh?  What? His mind must still be on the fritz. 

“I’m not a virgin,” Phury said slowly, quietly, “but you have to vow never to tell a single soul what I’m about to tell you.”

Rehvenge’s mind reeled.  Of course Phury wasn’t a virgin, hadn’t he just served Cormia through her needing?  Couldn’t do that and come away a virgin.  But he knew what the primale was saying.  He wasn’t a virgin with males.  How the fuck had that happened?  Not at Zero Sum, that’s for sure.

“Promise me, or I won’t tell you.”  Steel underlay the silk of Phury’s voice and he moved away further, across the room in fact.  Rehv got the strong feeling he was about to hear some shit he didn’t want to know.  All sexuality had dissipated as primale’s confession demanded to be aired in its place.

“I would never divulge a confidence, anyway, but I vow to you that I will tell no one.”  Rehvenge promised.

“For over a hundred years, I’ve been celibate – well, until recently, of course,” Phury began, “and before … well, I’d been celibate my whole life.”

Confusing, but Rehv was hanging on every word. 

“My twin was held as a blood slave, as you might have guessed from his ink,” Rehvenge nodded and Phury continued, “I spent a century searching for him,”

“I saw some of that,” Rehvenge had explained to Phury how he’d calmed him during his withdrawal.  How he’d seen snapshots of the warrior’s life.  The male hadn’t liked it, but since the alternative had been extreme danger to Rehv and Cormia, he’d accepted it.

“Did you see Z?” 

“I saw him strapped to a table …” Now Rehv was damn positive he didn’t want to hear this, but, at the moment, Phury was in charge.

“The mistress who kept him used to rape him regularly.  She would bring males from her … entourage … to watch and then have their fun after she was finished.”  The words were flat, without emotion.  Which, of course, rocketed their impact to the level of insane.

Holy shit.  Holy fucking shit.

“I had to make her believe I would be interested in attending a session.”  Gone.  Phury was an imprint now.  Full protection by absence of awareness. Rehv held his breath.

“So you … “

“I brought a male to my room in her mansion and had sex with him.  That was my first time.  It took six different males before she finally decided to invite me.  Probably because, the last time, I allowed her to watch.”  Phury was turned away, staring out the window into the dark night.  His shoulders were tight with tension, his voice thick with stored rage.

“I hated that I had moments of pleasure in that place,” Phury slammed his fist into the wall and nearly broke through the hardwood paneling.  “I still hate it!  Can you imagine how Z would feel if he knew I’d had sex with males that had probably fucking raped him already?”  He gave the wall a couple of extra slams for good measure.

All that red smoke suddenly made a hell of a lot of sense to Rehvenge.

“You didn’t see that?”  Phury turned to him, eyes glistening.

“I saw a flash of something … a newly transitioned male, but it didn’t occur to me … your celibacy …”

Phury waved it away with a jerky twitch of his hand.  “I’ve blocked it for so long, I’m not surprised it didn’t show up.  I’ve never told this to anyone.”

“You did what you had to, Phury.”

“Did I?  I didn’t have to enjoy it.”

“Yes, you did!  You think those fuckers weren’t reporting back to that bitch?  You think she wouldn’t have noticed if you were faking it?”

Phury remembered having those thoughts himself way back when.  But, when he got down to it, there had been lust and pleasure.  He should have been able to fake it.

“I’ve never forgiven myself,” Phury turned back to the window. “I never will.”

“Because Z would never understand?” Rehvenge took a chance.  He walked slowly over to the warrior, but didn’t touch.  There was a nearly visible barrier around the male and Rehv had this idea that he’d destroy everything in a ten-mile radius if he crossed it.

“He wouldn’t.  He’d never forgive me.” Phury disappeared an errant tear with a swipe of his knuckle.

“He never has to know.  I won’t tell.  You won’t tell.  It’s just one of those shitty things that people sometimes go through for the ones they care about.  I’ve never told Xhex what goes on with the princess,” Rehvenge leaned against the tall glass of the window.  His shirt was hanging open and sloppy, but he had no intention of dressing.

“She’d go nuts,” Phury nodded, “Z’s already killed his mistress.  Used to keep her skull in his room.  I wish I’d done it.”

“He never has to know,” Rehvenge said, wanting to get back to the subject at hand and steer clear of any conversations regarding the dispensing of vengeance.  The mistress was not the princess.  No comparison.  If Phury thought he wanted to keep the sympath female’s skull for a century, well, Rehv wasn’t letting him anywhere near that bitch.

“Do you still want me?  Knowing what I’ve done?” Phury asked.

“How can you even ask that?  Have you forgotten what I just told you?  About my half-sister the sympath princess?  I should be asking you that question.”

“You do it because the thought of Xhex being hurt by them is impossible to bear.”

“Exactly.  I do understand why you did what you did, Phury.”

The warrior took a moment to gather himself, putting all the pieces back in place.  Finally he focused on Rehv.

“I want you.  I want to be with you for a million reasons but mainly because I don’t have to.”

Rehvenge stepped away from the window and slipped off the shirt.

Phury walked straight into those open arms and held on.

Inevitable note:  It was not my intention to end it there, but it was the right place.  Ima stay in the bunker for now.

Inevitable soundtrack:  "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls

Scene 10